A single tear stain, Upon an empty page

by Rocky   Dec 10, 2009


(this is a poem about a poem i couldnt write)

Lost in my own mind
I sit in this empty room tonight
but I am not alone
for you are with me
dancing upon this page of white
so real
as If I could reach out my hand
to touch a smile upon lips
the shades of a pale pink rose
or gently brush my fingers over
the faint dusting of freckles
upon your delicate nose
and as I look up
to see your dark eyes
staring straight into mine
your gaze leaves me helpless
unable to look away
and so as I just sit here
staring at your beautiful face
thinking of all the words
I so wish that I could say
but I am lost in the dark
and I am cold
my blackened heart
just too scared to glow

I so wish that I could say
how sorry I am for ever leaving
i know how it must have hurt
when I deserted you that day
i am still haunted
by that broken memory
of you staring into my eyes
the tears you where trying
just so hard not to cry
silently asking me
please just to stay
but all i said was goodbye
before i turned to walk away

I so wish that I could say
how horrendous was the pain
after i left to run away
that even in my darkest nightmares
I had never once dreamed
I could begin to feel that way
as I died a little more inside
every damn second
of ever damned day
until there was no choice
but to face myself
and to realize
I had sold my soul for hollow gold
traded my memories for things
and fake dreams of a better place
for even heaven
would have been a sick joke
if you were still so far away
but by this time
it was all too late
you where in-love with another
so i killed the last pieces
of my shattered soul
to seal my sad fate

I so wish that I could say
how sorry I am
for trying to forget you
as I only hurt you once again
when without warning
I no longer called
took my friendship away
and now I despise myself
for not being strong
I should have watched over you
not turned my back
and looked away

I so wish that I could say
how empty It was inside
when I never thought
to ever hear
your precious voice again
and I became a ghost in sickness
wasting each day
simply wasting away
lost within the dark
silently whispering your name
my hopeless prayer
that still lived on
until you found me that day

I so wish that I could say
why when you found me
I only spoke to you once
then for so long
never dared to call you again
but that moment you said my name
it shook me to the very core
of my broken soul
confronted me with my own emptiness
and revealed my heart
so still and cold
it was just so many months
before it could even dream
to dare beat again

I so wish that I could say
that for every time I have hurt you
I am so sorry
but sorry is a word without meaning
when I only seem
to be doing it once again
taking a comfort in silence
not calling
making you think
I no longer love you
nor even care
but that is not the truth
on this I swear
its just that every time I hear your voice
I feel like I want to cry
knowing you are lost to me
so far away
in love with someone else
but by far the hardest part
Is knowing
there is no one to blame
but myself

I so wish that I could say
that maybe you should just forget me
finally forsake my broken soul
as all I ever seem to do
is hurt you time and again
and all my excuses
they are worthless
I should never have caused you
even a second of pain
so please
maybe you should just forget me
as I never want
to ever hurt you again

but most of all
I so wish that I could say
simply that I still love you
how much knowing you're still there
means to me today
but why would you ever believe me
after all the things that I have done
all the times i have ever hurt you
so instead I will say nothing
and try to hide these feelings away

so as I sit here just staring
at your beautiful face
still trapped within your eyes
thinking of all these things
I will never be able to say
Then I begin to notice
that the sun has rising
the whole night has flown past
to fool me with another day
and as I realize
you are still so far away
your beautiful face
slowly begins to fade
and a single tear falls
to stain this empty page
the only mark left upon it
to reveal
what I will never be able to say

0


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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Why do i see self here...anyway brilliant work..was worth reading i assure u..tho cloudy and affected me..loves this one too

    5.5

  • 14 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    This was good juste very wordy. I think you could have gottne your point across with less words. I felt your imagery was very strong nd made this piece come to life. I'm not use to this type of style maybe that's why I had a hard time reading this, but I did enjoy it as a whole. I'm maybe work on revising it and making it more concise. But keep it up though. Nik

  • 14 years ago

    by Gasttlee

    I can say this is a deep poem and it's appealing because I can relate to it. In fact, I think many people can relate to it. Normally, I would say something like this is almost too long, but here because you capture such emotion, it doesn't matter because you effectively get your message across.

  • 14 years ago

    by KJ

    First: I just want to say thank you for your honest opinion on my work. That is why I truely became a member of P&Q; to get feedback and suggestions on my work (to become a better poet). So I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate your honesty.
    Now, to your work :)

    This was a very long poem, but there wasnt a moment when I felt like: this is too long, I'm not gonna finish it. It caught and held my attention from start to finish and that is what really did it for me. The emotion was raw and I could almost hear the voice of the poet. Very good write. Also, the format was very simple, as well as your choice of vocabulary. So overall, I will have to be completely <honest> and say that this write deserves a 5.

    Amazing write.

  • 14 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This to me is a very unusual style that would require more discipline than I may have to imitate, but I would not change a thing