Chapter 2: Fears to Love

by Jack Nightengale   Nov 17, 2010


I gave her my undivided attention at the start,
She was my world, my life, she was my heart.
I would've thrown it all away, I would've left it all behind,
I was a fool, I was love struck, I was simply blind.

I knew that it would be hard but, I didn't think about it in the beginning,
I was so stuck in love that my world started spinning.
I stared at the distance between us at my feet like rubble,
But the distance to her gave us some trouble.

I stand in the sun and feel it's heat,
Think of her at my hearts beat.
At night I dream of her as I gaze at the moon above,
She can't stand the distance and she's worried, so she fears to love!

This is how the relationship go in the military. Our lives are hard but, the job of being with a service member is even harder.

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  • 13 years ago

    by kmx210

    Its a sacrifice only the strong of heart can make. if you are the soldier you speak of that i salute you. your metaphors improve with each chapter i read. beautiful thank you for the write

  • 13 years ago

    by Dark Secrets

    I see the connection between this chapter and the previous. This poem is a bit different; the first stanza flows well and all, but the next two fall a bit off rhythem... try reducing the size of each line and expressing more than one word in one word that says all. This one also has another flaw in it which is that your feelings aren't clear... you are telling the reader how you feel... you should be showing the reader. Close your eyes and feel your heart beat, the rhythem, your pain and describe it in all it's detail.
    I liked the way you're linking your feelings to the same elements in the previous chapter, just change the wording. Like instead of saying "At night I dream of her as I gaze at the moon above"... you could say something like: In the middle of the dark sky, her illuminated face I see.
    Still, you're on the right track... well done

  • 13 years ago

    by RadianceInReverse

    Wow! This reminds me of my friend whos in the military. he has such a hard time keeping a girlfriend especially when he was in Iraq for two years..

  • 13 years ago

    by kelleyana

    It's very hard to be away from the one we loved, but when situation put a barrier between us, with the power of our love, as long as it real and pure, a love that comes from the core of our soul. No distance can cannot separate the bond between two hearts. I enjoy my read, very touching. Well done, kel.

  • 13 years ago

    by Lost Innocence

    God..im so sorry...but its life and no one understand but the person its happening to...that make me mad:(

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