Briefly

by Melissa   Dec 20, 2010


I suppose I'm expecting
you'll dim,
just like a waning moon~

Gradual enough
to feel
your absence,
but too quick
to prove
you were really here

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  • 13 years ago

    by Sunshine

    This Excellent; I wonder how much did you hurt those who are jealous from your work by writing this little piece ? Since they down voted it.

    LOL that's always a good sign trust me :).
    Means how GOOD this poem is.

    who care's about rating anyway ? but I give this 5/5 nevertheless.

    I suppose I'm expecting
    you'll dim,
    just like a waning moon~
    ^^^

    this is breath taking, you have a very special imagination . Admirable line.
    Perfect image, and such a very interesting opening.

    Gradual enough
    to feel
    your absence,
    ^^^oh wow, what a chilly part. I can actually feel it, see it, love it ! Sad part..
    sad expression, and no bet sad beauty!
    Giving me this chill, and sigh when we feel someone is being distant, and moving away.

    but too quick
    to prove
    you were really here
    ^^^

    this killed meeeeeeee..how beautiful the lines of your emotions are. I used to be proud of my poems, but now I am busing learning from your work LOL. I love this so much..what a contrary, that actually IS completing , and revealing the real emotions to the Peak.

    Be proud. of your little yet so "be" wide piece.

  • 13 years ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    A short but good piece, I really enjoyed it. Good word choice and I like the mood you set with it and the description, for me you evoked that feeling of wondering if you imagined something or someone. Nice work.