Fortuity.

by Courageous Dreamer   Apr 21, 2011


I feast on poisonous snakes
and sip from vases,
revoking venom with my patterned tail
of a hundred eyes;

for all I can do is dance
from beneath slums of sorrow,
inviting love closer
as an amethyst necklace
of mango leaves
rings my neck;

yet if I were to ever lose you,
I'd lose all of me -
all of us.

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  • 13 years ago

    by Jad

    A very interesting poem that shows once again your creative side. I like how you used your metaphors in this poem to paint a picture for your title. The words you use are picked out nicely and they go together well, painting a picture in my mind of what is going on this poem. Laos your emotions of sadness in this piece pour out of your lines.

    "I feast on poisonous snakes
    and sip from vases,
    revoking venom with my patterned tail
    of a hundred eyes;"

    This had to be my favorite stanza. It was strong and powerful and so vivid. I could picture the words in my head as I read and your emotions also help catch the readers attention. A very powerful opening for a poem that kept my attention from beginning stanza to the end stanza.

    In all, your writing is amazing. I love how your use of metaphors is always crisp and clear. You have a great maturity in writing and I am glad to see you use your talents so wonderfully! I hope to see you ever get better in your writing and the depth of your poetry's meaning. Great job and keep writing!

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