The Messenger From the Sun

Good Writting

Hey there Mhmd :)

do you remember our secret? (it's still a secret, don't be afraid LOL) but no seriously do you remember it? I do remember it and will keep it forever :)
you knew who to choose, she is a great person, a lovable friend, and a passionate talented writer as well, so this write is so well-done!
I LOVED the true feelings throughout the piece, the metaphors where you referred to her were really amazing, I was almost inspired.
I have few suggestions though, you can take them into consideration and you can pass them by :) it is your decision, YOUR decision :P

When my words come lashing into my face
I look up and start to cry
I write and write in crimson tears
Words of farewells and goodbyes

^^

okay this opening just took me away, the most beautiful part about it is that it is TRUE :) but I'd say "I write and write with crimson tears" wouldn't it be better? :D
I loved how you said the first line, it was well-done, seriously Mhmd where were you hidden? :P

and yeah, aren't "farwell" and "goodbye" the same? why repeating them? :/ I disliked the repetition here! :) but it is just my humble opinion, nothing more....and nothing less :P

And when my words are lost and the thrill is gone
^^
I adored and adoreddddddddddddddddddd
and worshippppppp this line...the thrill is gone, ha? you little smart ....let's shut up :P okay...so, I'll continue.

As the sadness only remains
^^
drop the "the" word, dude. ;)

I stroll through yours to draw a smile
And my world is yellow again
^^
why capitalizing the first letter of every word in every single new line?

loved the rhymes btw, I wish I could rhyme, I suck at them of course. and, your yellow world stopped my heartbeats for a moment :)

Did you know how much the Sunshine
Used to burden my heart?
With fear that my days would pass me by
And that I'd chase its schemes as it sinks into the blue
To dawn again announcing that a day has gone to gloom
Until that day when time stopped and the sun
Sent you

^^

hey, I didn't know you have such skills! but I won't lie, I didn't get the "sun sent you" part, who were you refering to? to Nana? PM me yalla :P
I was really in love with this "until that day when time stopped" you expressed it so greatly! :)

I know that roads in your eyes might seem winding
But unraveling faith tells you this ain't true
^^
"ain't" should be "isn't" :)
I loved the first line!!! the roads to her eyes wind! that's just so touching and smooth, great job, sweetheart :)

You write a ballad for laughter
Another ballad for pain
And one ballad for lovers
^^
indeed! she does.
but you forgot the one for friends :)

you won't ever know how much I loved this, to my favorites right away! :) keep writing I do enjoy your writes.

OMG !!! I really love it when you write songs .. This was so sweet and sincere .. Just need a melody and off you sing it :)

Great job
5/5

Thanks a Lot, this is seriously very sweet,
no it's too sweet, and touching and I am left with this pinch...I love it so much, and I guess I will nominate because your lines had a very poetic tint, which is worth to be praised..not cause it's for me.
But really you have managed a very kind piece over here, that I appreciate for the-second-time!

Shokran :)
5/5