Like A Broken Record Player

"Can I come see you?" My ex asks me on the phone,
Lost for words, in complete utter confusion of how to
respond to this question. Part of me craves his touch,
longs to see him again. When the other part screams
you have a boyfriend! Remember how he hurt you!

Lips start to quiver as I stutter out an I don't know answer,
my whole body shaking with desirement to see him, with
rage of the way he treated me back then. Could I really see
him again? Knowing the moment he gets out of that car I
would betray my boyfriend in the worse possible way.

Tears start to stream out my eyes, hating the spell he still
has over me. Wishing I could stop loving him, needing to
slap myself into reality. Remind myself there's a reason you
aren't together anymore. Asking out loud could you really
leave your boyfriend, a guy with your hearts best intentions for him?

"Can I come see you?" going around and around in my head; like
a broken record player, unable to stop. Pondering to myself, even if I said no; would he come regardless? Would I be strong enough to tell him to go?

Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes answering to those questions.
-No, you wouldn't be strong enough. No is your answer for him;
Remembering he was left in your past for a reason, don't let it
come back and ruin your relationship now.

- a vent -