Make My Parents Proud

If you look on my bedroom wall, you'll
find a collage of pictures in a heart of my parents,
every night I find myself in a daze staring at them
wondering what life would be like if they were
still alive.

Would my mom had overcome her addiction?
Would my dads health finally had gotten better?
I tend to close my eyes remembering
a happy time when we were all together,
smiling and laughing like families should,
but than reality sets in; my brother and i are the
only ones left.

Sometimes I just want to give up, to just be with them again,
but then in the back of my head I hear their voices saying
" Don't do that, We raised you to be better than that,"
All I want is to just make them proud, But at the same time
I crave to be back in their arms, though disappointing
my parents is never an option.

Now instead of one, I have two beautiful guardian angels
watching over me from above, the questioning of
how life would be if they were still alive will never leave,
the empty feeling inside me will never get filled,
all that's left to do is succeed in life to make my parents proud.

-- venting --