Ocean (Tanka)

Just one frosty spark -

^I like this opening. It sets a cool and night scene for the reader :)

pure preciousness of the moon
tumbles down swiftly;

^I also like the word "preciousness" you have
used to describe the moon...for she is precious and a beauty that cannot be touched.

"tumbles down swiftly"

^Interesting to imagine the moon tumbling down into the open arms of the ocean/sea...very nice!

Overall, I enjoyed this little nature write with such soothing images to take to bed...lovely read!

This is a beautiful tanka!I liked it:)

This is a beautiful tanka!I liked it:)

GOod visual of the ocean asif the moon's in the background. You mastered this form well . Well done Jen

Its a dark shadow night with the sea waters sparkling by the cold glow of moon...the waves touchin the heights...
The imaginary is very beautiful! A tanka-Juss five lines,but the picture drawn through,juss touchies the excellence.
Appericiated !