Daddy's Destruction

by Chelsey   Jun 18, 2012


I've given in to the habit of biting my nails,
found plenty of things to google
and have run out of songs to play
to keep me from writing this poem to you

My middle finger meets the backspace button
and I've started writing this at least 4 times
I made up tacky metaphors and laughed
They didn't come close to how you make me feel

I tried to compare my soul to an ocean
and my heart was the boat you've sank
But there's just no way that can compare with
this massive aching that gets heavier with time

I've been full of mercy and grace
the way my mama taught me to be
Yet, even she has eyes that turn red
and fire on her tongue whens she speaks of you

The strength you have raised me to have
weakens at the sight of your destruction
I've watched you push family away
and keep friends closer, baffling my mind

Born as the baby, yes I was
However, have you not noticed?
Time has flied and I'm an adult
deserving of the same respect you command

The brain cells that others posses,
the ones that allow them to apologize
evidently lacks in you
Proven by the phones silent ring

I'm just waiting for you to step up
not just as my father, but as a man
That way when I read quotes
of daddies being hero's and kings
I can finally relate

Maybe one day, I will have the courage
the courage I wish you had
But nerves will get the best of me
and I will slip this letter in with the others

My feelings will get just as dusty
as yours and moms wedding album
Unkown thoughts will remain locked
because I'm scared of losing you-
over words you will never feel bad for

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Karla

    Excellent Chels!Be strong.

  • 11 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Chelsey, I just read Ben's fathers day piece and I came across this. I don't think my heart can take it anymore :(

    I can definitely relate to not having 'that' person in life who should be there but he is not..

    'I've given in to the habit of biting my nails,
    found plenty of things to google
    and have run out of songs to play
    to keep me from writing this poem to you'
    ^ I felt this a lot of times before. But I've NEVER wrote anything as straightforward as this because I might not be able to write again. I do understand this feeling, and it definitely is not the best feeling ever. Having said that, this is brilliantly penned. Those little habits you portrayed here were so vivid and heartbreaking; those habits only come out when we try to 'forget' about something/someone.

    I won't even copy/paste the next stanzas. But I've done that before. I realized I always want things to be 'perfect', especially when writing about him..

    'The brain cells that others posses,
    the ones that allow them to apologize
    evidently lacks in you'
    ^ This part really broke my heart. It is not relatable in my situation, but knowing that other people are going through harder things makes me stronger and makes me more grateful. I am really sorry though..
    There is an underlying tone of anger here, but it kinda drowns in sadness with the next lines..

    'That way when I read quotes
    of daddies being hero's and kings
    I can finally relate'
    ^ I am totally speechless, Chelsey..

    The ending verses were really breathtaking and overwhelming with sadness.
    Little typos that I thought I'd mention: possess, unknown, when (in '...her tongue whens...'), phones should have an apostrophe, hero's should be 'heroes'...

    Keep writing!

  • 11 years ago

    by Andrea broken tears

    Wow, amazizng... right now i feel the same about my dad, and it just keeps getting worse. There was so much emotion in this poem i could almost feel what you were feeling when you worte this..

    Great job

  • 11 years ago

    by PETER EDWARDS

    So sad Chelsey, so sad, but I'm so pleased you wrote this lovely, thoughtful poem.
    This is excellent work.
    You've opened up your Heart and wrote these words for your Dad.
    This piece is priceless..

  • 11 years ago

    by Lioness

    I don't know what to say.

    This is amazing, powerful emotional and just awesome. I am sorry that this is something that you feel, our parents should always be the ones that are there for us but sometimes life does not work out that way.

    I read this and felt like I've gotten to know you a little better because this opened up so much that people will be able to see you more.

    Seriously awesome write.

    x

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