Suitcase

My comment from judging:

Melpomene is writing very differently here, giving way to structure and her typical abstract type of writing, and it's something very unique to be written by her. I love all aspects of her words and writing, as she is a true artist in ever part of her life. To bring images to life with her words is such a beauty and she does it so well here. The sadness in the tone just kills me, and the lines like

"I was seven stops past "home" and
in an abandoned zone, even the gumtrees had bruises. "

and

"I've been stuffing
my heart into empty soup cans and carrying a rifle to
wake what's dead but faith keeps my eyes blue
and it's your desire for sin that keeps your heart bluer"

had me in complete awe. It's hard to describe what this poem does, and while I know I should give an analysis, I don't feel my ideas bring it justice. I've read this poem a few different times and have gotten something new from it every time - that's the joy of reading something by Mel. She kills it!

Also, congratulations on the win! (:

I am not entirely sure what this was about, but it was heartbreaking and beautiful. Here's my interpretation:

'My mind is a suitcase and it's kept
the gunpowder close to my lipstick and
the idea of home closer to you.'

^^ This, well firstly, I love this opening. It's a powerful opening. From this I interpret that there is pain in your thoughts. 'My mind is a suitcase' - I feel like your saying you've packed away certain memories, perhaps saying goodbye to them or just stashing them under the bed or something. But in the next two lines it seems to suggest that you were unable to banish those memories, to lock them away.
I also feel a sense of longing here with your last comment of 'the idea of home close to you'. Like these memories have separated you from someone you love, and you want that bond back.
This opening stanza seems to draw people in; readers are left curious as to what this is about and how it will end.

'I've never understood a one night stand yet
I stand alone in a room for one with the night dangling
its poetry above my head and it mocks me; the way cicadas
cling together and even in daylight sugar cane speaks of romance.
I've found myself writing in fields for hours, I've been stuffing
my heart into empty soup cans and carrying a rifle to
wake what's dead but faith keeps my eyes blue
and it's your desire for sin that keeps your heart bluer.'

^^ by the sound of it, you've made an error - or perhaps the one you loved has. One of you have cheated on the other..? I feel like it is you who have done the deed - let me explain! - you seem to be longing to return home, but why would you have left if you didn't have to - I guess it could be the feeling of betrayal, but there is such thing as forgiveness - also the way you describe the 'cicadas' and 'sugar-cane' being symbolic of love; it definitely reiterates the feelings of longing. It sounds as though you cannot escape your memories of sin with these constant reminders. I could be wrong. Now that I think about it, this could still be relevant if your partner was the one who cheated... and that's still going with the theory of course.
There is such fantastic imagery in this stanza!

'
I've been asked to talk more lately,
but my voice sounds like curlews screams in my head
and I wonder if it can be heard when I'm daydreaming?
I woke last week by a bus sign that said 'even your soles
are grieving' and I never bothered to question
what that meant. I was seven stops past "home" and
in an abandoned zone, even the gumtrees had bruises.'

^^ One thing I am unsure of: should there be an 'S' on the end of 'screams'? because it sounds off (to me) with it there. This may be because I have no idea what 'curlews' are... One to look up.
'I woke last week by a bus sign that said 'even your soles are grieving' and I never bothered to question what that meant'
--- I LOVED THIS!! It's so simple, but rings with truth. We read/see/hear all sorts of things, but most don't even get a second thought - it's just there, and we don't particularly care. Imagine if we took the time to puzzle over certain things...
I like the use of the (" ") around 'home' - it seems to imply that you cannot call it that anymore.

'My love is a koala crossing,
theirs softness here and claws over there;

a road kill death.'

^^ Again, should there be an 's' on the end of 'theirs'..? Maybe I'm missing something here... hmm.
I think what you're suggesting is sometimes, love is sweet, tender - all the good stuff - but sometimes its nasty, violent - the bad stuff...
'a road kill death' - a horrible ending; somewhat inevitable..?
For some reason I really like this ending. I feel like I don't understand it fully, if at all, but... I don't know, it's somewhat bold and provides the piece with such a definite finality.

OVERALL;
As I stated above, I am not entirely sure what this is about, but I feel like it has something to do with a lost relationship. It sounds as though it wasn't a mutual respect kind of ending, but a nasty one (if you know what I mean..?)
I can sense that there is a deeper meaning to this whole piece that only you as the author (and perhaps the other person involved..?) could truly understand.
This piece was so melancholic - and the longing and heartbreak were clear emotions throughout. Also I sensed a feeling of resignation (there was another word I wanted to use here, but for the life of me couldn't remember it. Don't you hate that?!) - like you knew the outcome was final.

I have to say, this piece is rather thought-provoking - it leads the reader to think about the deeper meaning of it, which I certainly do like.

An intriguing, heartbreaking piece. 5/5

I'll start will your title which made a huge statement IMO....you didn't say my suitcase or a suitcase..just suitcase so my mind went instantly to the Evita song...hope you know the one?

I've told you in the past that I don't always understand your poetry but that what draws me to it. I feel you have gone back to some place that once held happier memories for you but now they are not so good...like the empty soup cans perhaps? Your suitcase was packed full of hope at one point but now it feels lighter and your heart heavier.

I really loved the reference to the bus signs...there are some whacky ones out there and....if you've been drifting off to sleep when you read them they make even less sense haha!!!

Nice to read your work again Mel...enjoyed it!

Such a beautiful poem! I felt my mind is the empty soup can lacking in words of appreciation and my brain is the curlew hunting for perfect words. You have made it a day. Thanks a lot, Mel.