Carnal Wandering

A new style which I so very much favor from you. I love the short lines, it was kind of an adrenaline rush. (Y)

Hey hun!

I am glad you posted this one. The darkness certainly comes through within the words and I love how you have laid the poem out.

I love the use of the word thunder because thunder to me is something strong, powerful and awesome. To say that you are thunder means to say that you are strong and powerful (in which I believe is true)

Your use of images is wonderful, talking about arteries and choking on lithium, so much said in this piece!

Awesome write hun LOVED IT

x

This is beautiful. The title is 'creepy' but fitting :)

I especially love this part:

"my body is the
insane asylum darling,
choke upon a lithium,
let us float upon
this cloud together
until lightening
strikes our
demented minds
in two"

I can sense sadness, hopelessness but love as well. The dark tone was consistent all throughout; I love that.
Just a minor typo on 'lightning'.
Otherwise: Perfect!

Keep writing

Creeeepy title

O.O wooooooooooooow this is A M A Z I N G:)