Saturn (Senryu)

by Khalid M Darwish   Jul 26, 2012


Saturn! You're so light!
Not lighter than my heart, that one
full of love an' mercy

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Jenni

    I am glad to see that you were inspired by that and managed to write this Senryu. :)
    I think you need to try and rearrange the last verse though because you've got 6 syllables there instead of 5. (full = 1, of = 1, love= 1, an' = 1, mer-cy = 2, which adds up to 6).

    • 11 years ago

      by Khalid M Darwish

      Well Jenni I was using the words and syllables calculator in the following website:
      https://www.wordcalc.com and rechecked it,and you can also recheck it. Thank you.

  • 11 years ago

    by Wild flower

    I love Senyrus and Haikus, because they're short, but have a beautiful meaning. I love it, awesome job..

  • 11 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    My friend....a wonderful Senryu, it's amazing where inspiration lies eh? great job guy :-)

  • 11 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Khalid you took that conversation and made a beautiful senryu out of it! Beautiful! :)

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