Bleu de France

Why didn't this win, too?

:/

Anyway, it's still on my top list!

I dont know what more I could say that hasnt already been said, but Im just simply going to share with you why I was taken by this poem.

You took my breathe away with your words usage for one... each line just zapped me. I could feel the sadness, and even though your words were so elegant I almost felt like I was in a sea of blue emotions... you took this color and created an emotional piece... the ending made me gravitate to my own emptiness at times... that's why I adore reading your poetry, I can relate... touching and mind blowing piece!

All right,

Something changed in here...

what I noticed is that you added this tone... hmm.. what is it that you call it? subtle rhymes?
it creates some kind of melody in certain parts.

Such as 'eyes' and 'life', so when one reads it, the melody just goes on. Pretty cool

I also liked the part about

"And I waited
(for nothing, it seemed)
And I thought
(of nothing, it seemed)
And I tried to dream..."

The repetition works perfectly. "(of nothing, it seemed)" and of the "And" I like it. It also has a melody of its own.

Then:

"I've been drowning; trying to re-surface,
yet I find no surface."

" We all are drowning. They are drowning.
I am drowning."

ah! you are using different techniques for repetition ( not sure how to call them), but all of them combine work perfectly in this piece.

Okay, now to the content.. I have read this piece too many times.. but the melody blocks me lol.. I find myself kind of signing along the lines and I lose my focus. But here is my attempt:

I used to find the ocean cradled safely in your eyes.
Perhaps your calm gaze no longer could contain its life,
ebbing away with the waves upon the shore of my flesh.

--- I'm thinking that you used to see sincerity or rather tranquility in this person's eyes. But something happened and now, in this persona's eyes there is something that changed.

The breeze licks the curtains as though trying to
moisten its parched tongue.
The kettle never whistled its ode to the morning.
Perhaps it is waiting still, for the sun has not
yet peeked through my curtain-less window.

---- This is the part that throws me off, and the reason is because I don't know where the curtains came from. In the first stanza, I was picturing a calm ocean in the eyes of the persona...but eventually, the calmness ceased and now the eyes reflect turbulent waters. So my only assumption is that you are in a boat... or a cruise. It could be a cruise since the Title " Bleu de France" has something to do with a cruiser. Then okay, So if that is the case.. then it seems that this poem is written from your perspective.. but I could also think that is from the ship's perspective.. As if the ship is telling the ocean that it used to find it calm.. but not anymore.

So that's why the waters are moving back and forth because you are in the cruise... and the breeze of the ocean tastes the curtains of the boat.. as it's moving the curtains.. so it must be windy.

But see again.. now at first I was thinking that the first part was narrated from the ship's perspective, however, this stanza is reassuring me that you are narrating from your perspective. As if you are in that boat.

My confusion once again arises due to the part about " my curtain-less window," I was thinking that since the breeze licked the curtains then you had curtains.. So this made me changed my mind and think that okay, now you are talking about where you are at.. and it seems to me that you are in your cabin? and it's still night because the sun hasn't peeked through your window.

I lie back down, allowing the silence to waft
through the air.

And I waited
(for nothing, it seemed)
And I thought
(of nothing, it seemed)
And I tried to dream...

----So yeah, now I'm pretty sure that you were in your cabin.. It was night and time to sleep. The waters were going back and forth and so I'm guessing thats the reason why you waited.. perhaps for the waters to be calm once more. But it seems like nothing happened..

If the breeze through my window and the steam
through my kettle were to have colour, just think

---This is my favorite part, and the reason is that I just love the sound when I read it. Also because it makes me think haha I'm doing what I'm told to do.. (ironic) and I can't help but picture the colors as the steam and the breeze get combine in the air. But I'm sure there is something more going on right there.. I can't figure the meaning though.. but still is my favorite part

I've always harbored reveries of us breathing skies
of blue air. Not as blue as skies, however,
for France has but grey skies these days.
But blue as Lac du Bourget back home.

--- In this part, I'm guessing that something happened to the ship. And now, you are breathing water instead of oxygen (air)

...perhaps bluer...

Because ever since the wind took you away,
I've been drowning; trying to re-surface,
yet I find no surface.

-yup, it seems like the turbulent waters flipped the boat and you are trying to come out to the surface but no luck.

""But if I do, would I ever really breathe again?

My lungs have not tasted the air for a long time,
and I fear its vastness would only suffocate me""

-------This is the sad part because you are drowning, so the boat really did flipped or crashed, it had an accident with the waves.

"""Lately, I've been drifting with the fishes;
helping them breathe, for the pressure underneath
has been getting stronger.

We all are drowning. They are drowning.

I am drowning."""

--- and everyone in the boat are drowning, too.

""And I find myself drifting, drifting away from them -
from us.

Until the ocean no longer exists.

I find myself beneath blue skies, and I can breathe.
Everything smelled of home.
Yet...

I am l o s t "

------ and the ending is a bit vague.. one can think that you were able to come to the surface and found an island or something and hence feel lost... But the ocean will still exist there.. it will be visible.. So I'm guessing that this in poem, the persona visited the heavens.

Okay, that was my interpretation perhaps, I'm a bit off on a few parts but I like this poem.

I am in love with you.

Your first stanza just drew my in but your second one kept me here...

The breeze licks the curtains as though trying to
moisten its parched tongue.
The kettle never whistled its ode to the morning.
Perhaps it is waiting still, for the sun has not
yet peeked through my curtain-less window
^^
The first image here is just beautiful but...the kettle not whistling it's ode to the morning was so original that I was quite blown away with it...creativity at it's best here!

Then this..

And I waited
(for nothing, it seemed)
And I thought
(of nothing, it seemed)
And I tried to dream...

^^^^

What captured my attention here is, not only the sadness of the actual scene itself, but...there was a sense of, well....that everything has become overwhelming and you had just about given up on things....just the impression I got.

This whole verse is laced with such beautiful imagery and I love it all....I'm highlighting these to in particular because they are the ones that seemed to pull at my heart strings them most....beautiful write!!!