Written Souls (Senryu Collab)

I remember when we wrote this
Truly powerful

It helps to listen
as much as it helps to talk
therein is balance

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I like the truth in this opening stanza.
Some poeple talk and talk, yet find it difficult to just listen - and we need to have that balance.

within sweet silence
a simplistic bond is formed
between two lost souls

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I love this stanza. Again the honesty here simple yet beautiful. Sometimes the silence doesn't necessarily have to be awkward... sometimes it can imply a calm between two people. I think the bond formed between those who are able to remain in a comfortable silence together can sometimes be stronger than words.

sorrow splashes tears
distance unfolds our passion
connecting pure thoughts

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At first I thought that first line needed rewording a tad, but it really fits beautifully.
The previous stanzas (to me) implied friendship whereas this one seems to imply a loving relationship. But I suppose all great relationships first begin as friendships and even remain a friendship through.

poetry of skin
unwrittten words unspoken
drawn within our blood

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I loved that first line! Quite unique.
'unwrittten' should be 'unwritten' (less a 't')
that last line describes the poet's work perfectly - our poems are apart of us, an extension of ourselves - we express our pain, sorrow, happiness, love, thoughts, memories... and with each finished piece we share a little part of ourselves - so it can be seen as our blood, our life captured in a written rendition.

raw emotions sing
as thunder bolts spark fingers
uniting as one

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Beautiful detail here. A nice ending to the piece, especially that last line - it really ties all the stanzas together -- each you have described will unite people.

A fantastic collaboration!!
It was seamless which really made it perfect.

5/5

Rab & Sunny,

I love this type of formed poem and when they're in a string they flow beautifully if written well and with that I can tell you this poem was well written.

"unwrittten words unspoken"
^You have three t's in unwritten here.

I have a few favourite lines but I must say "poetry of skin" intrigued me. I am an art student and the other day in class we were speaking about the body as a canvas and it's true the skin is one of the most beautiful and complex designs created. I am currently working on a sculpture based work that incorporates my poetry and the human body so to read this line I can just imagine the beauty of it in my mind.

"thunder bolts spark fingers" wonderful description, unique. I liked this poem simply because it talks about the connection between two people and yet it doesn't specify if it is between a couple, two friends, two collab partners or even between poetry and person.

Mel

Excellent collab guys, a very nice bond to write about, well done.

I must say, the content in this piece is amazing and captures the attention of the leader with a life lesson. You two really did a great work on this one, i salute you.