Death of the flesh

by Alanis   Sep 24, 2012


As you conceive these fears,I nurture this
failed elements into something dark.
Why such puzzled faces? Have you not
seen such possessed souls itching
for freedom, gasping in their own putrid
ways? Do they not lick their lips when good
doers trespass? Yet no heed is taken by
the rich as they sip their overly priced
wine and giggle at the poor and unfortunate.
When will these vile beings come forth to
live for the end? Their popularity and unforgiving
spirits bring up bile and anger. Time to drink
the errors of your ways. Time to die in flesh
and live for your dreaded future.

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by LostWords

    I am not trying to contradict your comment or be rude in any way but I think the wording of this is great. For instance, most people say "haven't you seen" or "don't they" when speaking or writing. But that is why I love the way Forgotten Soul does not write normal. Normal is boring; uninteresting. In my opinion I would rather read "have you not seen" or "do they not" It actually sounds more elegant. But again this is just MY opinion, do not think I'm trying to dig at you, for you I do not know. You provide great criticism in your own opinion, as do I.

    I think she meant to use the word "heed" it fits perfectly. Heed- Pay attention to; take notice of.
    But I could be wrong.

    Very well written, once again. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Khalid M Darwish

    Great piece! I do have some points:
    "Have you not seen" I think should be "Hanen't you seen" and "Do they not" maybe "Don't they"
    "no heed" maybe you mean "no head"
    Many word should start with small letters such as seen, for, ways, doers, the, wine, live, spirits and the errors.
    I think this poem will get better impact if it is little repaired from mistakes.

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