Better Off Without Me

by LostWords   Oct 22, 2012


Tear stained ink smudged across my paper.
It is crueler to pick myself up this time.
Lingering sensations overturn my heart.

The silence so dense it crushes me.
Holding my mistakes too close,
agony rips through my skin.

I am left observing and failing,
with no hesitations and no replies.
It is better that you leave me.

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by Daylight Lucidity

    Wow... Just wow... Amazing, I feel like this at the moment. Great write, I really enjoyed reading this.

  • 8 years ago

    by Someone Invisible

    Wow captured my emotions so perfectlyas of here lately....so emotional in creative phasing it is wonderful....really

  • 8 years ago

    by Autuumnbree

    Very heartbreaking piece you have here I was entangled by the first stanza, it have been so many times I have been crying while writing my feelings down and totally ruin my paper. I totally can relate to these feelings, I feel after enduring so much pain it's best to give up because giving in only cause you to develop self hate.

    XP...

    • 8 years ago

      by LostWords

      Thank you Autuumnbree. I am glad you could relate to me. Yes, I would agree...but I have trouble letting go.

  • 8 years ago

    by Darren

    You set the scene very well with the first line, it is like you have reached the end of the line yet trying to jump that final hurdle and write that letter ending your relationship.
    line 2 suggests that it may be something he has done, line 3 begins the turmoil, the pause asking yourself can you go through with it.

    the second stanza is the best, the imagery is awesome, love the silence so dense it crushes me, real drama. Doesn't seem to make sense unless you have experienced it. You are pondering life without him, already the silence is trying to change your mind.

    the final stanza see you convince yourself you are doing the right thing, you have put the blame back on yourself, you have convinced yourself that you are doing HIM a favour, it is better for him, without really taking into account your own thoughts despite the conflict of emotions all the way through.

    great poem, one of your best in my opinion.

    • 8 years ago

      by LostWords

      Thank you so much for your detailed comment. It always means a lot when you comment/rate any of my poetry. You captured all of my emotion very well.
      Wow! One of my best in your opinion, thank you!!