Hiss

by Maple Tree   Feb 12, 2013


Serpent tongue dives
deeply in the larynx
of an unspoken word.

Devilishly I dangle
as the forbidden
fruit lodges in the
pit of a silent whisper.

The tales of Tut
mummy king,
rattle chains in
the kneecaps
worn to shreds
by bowing at
notions of
killing the
nightly
dreams
of
you.

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  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Sheesh Kebab Queen Tree. I know you hold many talents and I can praise you for every type of poem you write, but I truly feel that you have an immence talent for these short pieces that appear to have next to no words but yet you create a thousand images, possible scenes, varied emotions and such darkness and despair. I do not know how you do it but you amaze me every time!

    Serpent tongue dives
    deeply in the larynx
    of an unspoken word.

    - this little opening actually made me think back to your newer poem about the phonecall and being labelled but yet you cannot say the word. It made me think of a snake and how sly they are and perhaps it is something like this that is deadly violent to the mind if you let it out through your lips. Just one of the few things that I got from it.

    Devilishly I dangle
    as the forbidden
    fruit lodges in the
    pit of a silent whisper.

    - again - going with the first thought I had of the poem, the silent whisper makes me think of you tryign to admit this, trying to word it out but somehow only whispers are released in hope that it will go away and be unheard and somehow that will make it untrue. Devilishly I dangle, this gives me ahint of daring, like you are trying to face it and challenge it but perhaps not too confident so it hides behind the whispers.

    The tales of Tut
    mummy king,
    rattle chains in
    the kneecaps
    worn to shreds
    by bowing at
    notions of
    killing the
    nightly
    dreams
    of
    you.

    - interesting ending, I took two separate views on it, I took it as the snake on one hand killing the victim, which could be metaphorical for a disease/illness. Or I took the other approach of bowing at the dreams you have of killing the snake, in hope that it will come true. Which again in my head, relates to an illness.

    I love poems that are not so simple to work out and you need to use your brain and I also like how everyone will be able to take their own image away fromt his poem and yet you clearly had one image in mind while writing it.

    Adored this powerful poem maple, well done.

  • 11 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    This write has a mystery about it leaving the reader with many thoughts and images. I felt like this is a reaction when a person stares a deadly snake face to face, all choked up and unable to do anything.

    Another version I see is about describing a person whose character is like a snake and the author can't seem to cast that person away. Maybe I'm wrong but that is what I got.

    Overall a darkly write shrouded in mystery..good one!