Trampoline

by The Queen   Jul 30, 2013


I am the dot that ends all my written worries,
doubts and insecurities, in the palm of my diary,
many a time trapped between mottoes and ironies
like a burrow of ants in a field of peonies,
on a rainy day.

I am always right. I am always left.
Navigating between uncertainty of the unknown,
and certainty of my faith and opinions
tripping over a compass [of my life]
that doesn't point
quite exact.

Like a feisty child, clinging at the tip
of a long-limbed leaf of a skirt of their mother,
I am tiny; a tiny drop of dew
insignificantly rebellious,
defying gravity
before merging with the endless
vastness of a pond.

I am no more than a statue,
or another ornament at an antique shop;
intricately fashioned, yet always,
pre-owned. Never mind I am not superstitious

I'm still hanging good-luck charms
at the doorstep of my dreams,
in hopes of becoming something,
you so wish to lionize.

http://vladimirkush.com/Editions/Page-12
*Written for FOP Challenge [Thanks, Britt] - [Waiting For Luck]

Copyright (C) 2013 by EvanescentMoon.
16.07.13

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Latest Comments

  • 6 years ago

    by Saerelune

    I think this poem has a much more modern flare than you realise (told ya you could also pull it off!), and I love it!

    The opening lines seemed very thoughtful, but straighforward and simple to understand. It immediately sets the tone of the whole poem, strong and aware of all that makes you insecure yet you strive to be something, to reach something, to maybe one day put an end to your doubts.

    The whole poem seems to be held together by the constant "I am's", and I think it's great to have something to hold on to while reading this poem, since you've got quite a lot of different images thrown together, and upon first reading, one might not immediately understand the connection with the title. To me the title suggest the up's and down's of life (in a very unique way, may I say).

    Your use of language and imagery is as always excellent. What made this poem new to me is your wordplay:
    "I am always right. I am always left.
    Navigating between uncertainty of the unknown,
    and certainty of my faith and opinions"
    ^ I was especially very fond of the first line. Normally people would've begun with saying left before right, but since you swapped that order around, "right" seemed to take a second meaning too (I am always right) but having it following by "I am always left" tones down the determination and leaves something so very bare and honest of the author, which feels very real (we are never fully confident or fully insecure, no?).

    A few things I'd suggest changing ...

    many a time traps --> many a time trapped

    like burrow of ants --> like [a] burrow of ants // like burrow[s] of ants

    in hopes that I become something --> in hopes of becoming something

    Other than that, great job lovely one! :)

  • 6 years ago

    by Britt

    I've been waiting for you to post this so I could nominate it, it was one of my favorites so far throughout the challenge.

    I feel like you did such an absolutely amazing job and this poem had a lot of thought and care put into it, at least thats how it seems. I love the title, goes so well with the picture. This is one of my favorite pieces, because we're all waiting for luck. Waiting at the tip/edge and unsure of whether we should jump below. Your poem really put a definite feel of that, but also a lot more confidence than I feel when looking at the pic.

    "I am tiny; a tiny drop of dew
    insignificantly rebellious,
    defying gravity
    before merging with the endless
    vastness of a pond."

    I LOVE this part and really love the rebellious piece of it; here is where you really explained what the artwork looks like.

    I keep reading this over and over in awe. I really hope to see it on the front page next week, it's definitely worthy. Very professional feeling!