In Agreement

by Saerelune   Oct 24, 2013


"You can find anything beautiful
but not the one in the mirror."

And I've been thinking about his words,
upon whatever road I take, when
empty bottles salute my footsteps, when
the stench of urine invades my senses
and all I know is that every city
in the world has something in common
after all, that we're all ridding
our bodies of hidden dirt and hurt,
when light turns its back against us.

And I belong within these city gates.

When I dreamt, I wanted
Made in Italy, not his espresso;
someone to make my first kiss non-fictional;
the romance of cobblestone streets but not
blisters on my feet; and at the Trevi fountain
I wished for a lover, not for him.

His words invaded me like a Trojan horse;
my body's an architecture of selfish love.

18-10-2013
11:31 PM

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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Judging comment:

    Very beautiful poem, I really like the imagery and the metaphors, particularly the one of the city, as well as you mentioning the cities' as if you felt stuck in a place where sadness is the sovereign and everything is nothing but pain and hurt. You wished for someone who could really love you, a real italian rather than someone who could just make an italian espresso, a real lover, someone who could make you feel worthy when you look at yourself in the mirror and could actually make you feel good. The sense of yearning, loss and sadness are all present and meld together in such a way that you can't help but to fall in love with this and become more and more fond of it each time you reread it.

    The first lines really struck a chord within me as it's something so easy to relate to. Beautiful.

  • 10 years ago

    by Britt

    Judging comments:

    Strong images that are almost hard to take in, that's what makes this piece for me. So much sadness in the very beginning, it hits you right in the core. I felt so many emotions while reading this poem. I love that there is truly a raw vulnerability in this piece, whether it be reality or not.. it's in your face. The images in the end are so incredibly beautiful. I've read this poem a huge handful of times and get a different feeling each time. I have to say the last half of this poem is truly my favorite. Both halves are strong, and like I said the imagery up top is what makes it. But the end, with the emotion, wraps it up into this gorgeous poem. Well done!

  • 10 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    "You can find anything beautiful
    but not the one in the mirror."

    - I love poems that open with a quote. Especially one that is powerful and so easy to relate to. Straight away here, I thought of how we never take our own opinion or advice if it concerns ourselves, but are happy to convince others of it. Like we can believe everyone else is beautiful but not ourselves.

    And I've been thinking about his words,
    upon whatever road I take, when
    empty bottles salute my footsteps, when
    the stench of urine invades my senses
    and all I know is that every city
    in the world has something in common
    after all, that we're all ridding
    our bodies of hidden dirt and hurt,
    when light turns its back against us.

    - the imagery here is just mind-blowing, I can see the streets littered and abandoned, which I guess could even be a metaphor for our emotions and how we feel. I like how you try to compare everyone, as similar, as humans, but yet again, we do not seem to include ourselves in this and we always pick on our flaws. The commonness of the cities is very true.

    And I belong within these city gates.

    - I always think lines on their own are put their because they mean more than what they simply say. So I always ask myself why this line is so important. ANd for me, I think this point is the point of your story, that you relaise this is where you belong, whether you want to be there or not.

    When I dreamt, I wanted
    Made in Italy, not his espresso;
    someone to make my first kiss non-fictional;
    the romance of cobblestone streets but not
    blisters on my feet; and at the Trevi fountain
    I wished for a lover, not for him.

    - I like the language used here, the subtle rhyme scheme and flow through out. I also like how the "he" becomes more of a character and we can get a sense of maybe the relationship between the two. How you wanted one thing, but had to settle for something much less.

    His words invaded me like a Trojan horse;
    my body's an architecture of selfish love.

    - Excellent ending, very powerful and to relate to the virus for invasion... wow, very powerful indeed.

    I really liked this and well done for the win, It was very well put together. xx

  • 10 years ago

    by silvershoes

    I want to come back later to write more because this is meant to be a very short study break. Beautiful, beautiful poem. The details are flawless. "We're all ridding our bodies of hidden dirt and hurt" - painfully true. Relatable, yet personal. "His words invaded me like a Trojan horse" - I just love that. I keep repeating it in my head.

  • 10 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    There is a certain depth of sadness within this piece..its like getting rid of memories, feelings anything associated with the past. Like the vivid imagery here...

    Congrats on the win

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