Birthday Wishes #2

A lot can happen in 365 days
sometimes not for the better
because one year ago today I was
sitting exactly where I'm sat currently
and I had the exact same wish as I do
right now:

That you were here with me.

And I've fought, I've fought so hard
this past year has been nothing but
an uphill struggle, and yet, yet you're still
not here with me-where you belong.

Every day that passes I feel the loss
a little more. I never knew it was possible
to feel like you lost someone when they
were still of the living-but that's
what it feels like every single day,
and today I feel it more than ever.

I don't want presents, I don't want
cards, I don't even want a simple
"happy birthday." I just want you in
my arms, where you belong.

I want to be able to tuck you into
your bed at night, something I haven't
been able to do for many months,
I want to wake up to your smiling face,
to the sweetest song I can hear-
that of "mummy, love you"
...like I used to.

Did you know your bed is still untouched?
Your room still isn't tidy because I can't
bare to alter it...it's exactly the same
as it was all those months ago when you left.

No, I don't want presents, or cards, or
candles or a cake. I don't want to
celebrate and I don't want birthday
wishes from family and friends.

I just want you, my baby boy.