Where the Dusk meets the Dawn

by Everlasting   Jul 2, 2014


Oh saintly night,
you, where the moon strolls by,
and the stars palpitate
with the blinks of the sky,
tell her, tell her her chirps
aren't songs made of light
that she ought to fly high
right where her lashes
meet the eye.

Oh holy night,
you, where the dusk meets the dawn,
and the owls screech from her cries,

tell her, tell her

she ought to embrace her eyelids tight
right before the dusk meets the dawn,
that she bickers caw instead of chants.

please just tell her,

she ought to embrace her eyelids tight
right before the dusk meets the dawn.

Oh Godly night,

You, where the silence awakes
and the peace in our sleep is found,
tell her, just tell her,
she is like a woodpecker in an oak pine
that she constantly pecks in my ear
and in my heart.

Oh worldly night

You, where the tent of my vision now lies
and where my sleep takes me to meet the sky,
tell her that she is finally legal to take a fly
that she can conquer the world
with just her smile,
but please just tell her
that first she ought to embrace her eyelids tight
right before the dusk meets the dawn.

Written by L.L.

Written for Chelsey's contest I don't remember the exact day.

Prompt: "Constantly screaming neighbor who bickers with their family...keeping the whole campground annoyed."

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    This beautiful and elegant poem by Lucero is breathtaking. with the nature tones and word usage I felt like I was reading an old age, historical piece, however it has her very creative word repetition just a bit within this poem that makes it unique and fun. The tone within this message is a mixture of somber, and a touch of romance just because of the nature tones but holds a wonderful life and inspirational message as well.

  • 9 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Judging comment:

    It is quite blissful to imagine where dusk meets the dawn, after twilight when the world is still and sleepy. I loved how you revered the night, and your desire for rest was such a soft plea here. What I also noticed in this piece was your structure. I liked the repetition of "Oh... night", and then "please just tell her". It was simple yet helped the poem flow. There was also subtle rhyming I enjoyed at the ends of the lines in the first stanza. It was wonderful how in the end you encouraged this woman who may be a stranger, how you wanted her to dream and live freely and fully all she wants, as long as she closes her eyes first and leaves you at peace. There was only one line that I didn't think sounded quite right, in my opinion. In the last stanza, saying she can now "take a fly" sounded too awkward to me. Maybe use a different verb? Overall, a lively piece and a creative spin on the prompt, drawing in nature tones. (7)

  • 9 years ago

    by Maher

    That is a great poem. Imagery, repetition of a valid point, an almost chilling emotional undertone. I feel like the bald judge on the British Master Chef show that has been positively overwhelmed by a glorious slice of cake.

    Excellent! :)

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    And the stars palpitate
    with the blinks of the sky,

    - Love this little line so much! so poetic!

    I liked the style of your poem here, in the way of the repetition of the night, but having a different word in the front of it each time, it worked well, I think it gave the poem more character. Also the repetition of "tell her" is well used throughout.

    Good title choice, and I like how you placed this title at the end also, leaving the reader with that as their final image.

    Congratulations on the win!

  • 9 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    There is a serenity within this write and as always
    accompanied by vivid imagery. Congrats on the
    win!

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