Being blunt in poetry always seems to make the best poems. I love this. I am going to point out the metaphor here is wonderful. You tried to use the brightest colors you can, to paint your world with but nothing seems to work anymore or right now. They all fade to black in your eyes. Because of October 23. I agree with saffie as well, this is true grief, the loss of a loved one is always difficult, and grief is not ambiguous at all. It is sadness full on. I am glad you were able to get this out and just write. Glad to see you writing again. 5.
It is hard to believe how quickly time passes, but at the same time, when it comes to grief it seems like it only happened yesterday and time has not passed at all.
I really think this poem shows grief for what it is, and how it can affect you on the inside for a long time, and you find yourself trying to overcome it, trying to "escape" it, but it is still there.
It is nice to see you write about A, and still share his memory with us. And as usual, you have a great gift for writing and drawing the reader into your emotion. I really like the use of art here, and how you have almost connected art, poetry, grief and time all together.
I am glad you are back to writing, and hope to see you writing more. x