Dark whisper

by NOOR   Nov 15, 2015


Shadows whispers to me
Come here my love
We will comfort you
Follow us and leave this world behind you

Dead rose petals under my feet
Leads to a path to balcony
Where moon is shining to its full
Like it has ate one hundred lost souls

I see your face
On the surface of lake
You look like sleeping
Lifeless pale face eyes closed

A tear drop from my eyes
Reach your reflection
You open eyes and pull me by hand
I go under surface
And follow you till death

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    As Michael say, a wonderful and sad piece oozing with imagery.
    A very good write. All the very best

    Ben

    • 8 years ago

      by NOOR

      Thanks for reading my piece of ..trying to write anything at all.. :-)

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Noor,

    This is teriffically sad. The simile of the moon and yourex is great. I especially like how his fullness is due to all the poor women he has hurt and broke their hearts. The end where your tears splash into his moon reflection and his open is creepy, yet brilliant. Then to have him reach out and pull you under to drown is shocking. This is very powerful Noor.

    It could be tweaked in places, but essentially it is amazing.

    Well done.

    Michael

    P.s let me know if you want any help.
    ((Hugs))

    • 8 years ago

      by NOOR

      Thanks for comment Michael. I try to make time for editing. ;-) And the I will need your help. :-)

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