Roused from sleep (Haiku)

by Mr. Darcy   Mar 5, 2016


Night fades
revealing a frosty dawn:
blackbird sings

michael
2016

7


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Latest Comments

  • 4 years ago

    by Dreamofolwin

    There 's something about this .. the imagery just steal 's the senses.
    Love it :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Ingrid

    This is a very beautiful Haiku, dear:)
    I could see the image in my mind's eye, and it also gave me a sense of hope for a new beginning, somehow!

    Well done

    (((hugs))) xxx

  • 8 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Nice modern haiku.

    This site usually sticks to the traditional 5-7-5. But the modern haiku is less than 17 syllables, and it doesn't matter how many syllables are in each line so long as the haiku has 17 syllables or less, but the author should at least attempt the haiku to look like traditional one even if it doesn't have the 5-7-5 count. Well done.

    The imagery is great.

  • 8 years ago

    by Hellon

    Night fades
    revealing a frosty dawn:
    a blackbird sings

    ^^^

    Slight critique first...you have two 'a's here and, for such a short verse it was more noticeable to me.

    About the syllable count...this site seems to favour the 5,7,5 which is more common in the western world but, in the Japanese language, where there sounds and characters are different from ours, they will not translate into a count of 5,7,5 when translated into English. Here is a link that may explain it better than I can.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku

    • 8 years ago

      by Mr. Darcy

      Hellon, you are right. It reads perfectly well without the 2nd 'a'. Thank you for pointing this out to me.

  • 8 years ago

    by Brenda

    Just beautiful

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