It makes you wonder

by Dagmar Wilson   May 15, 2016


Uncertain future
the world has changed extremely,
goodbye good old days.

4


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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by GB

    Indeed makes us wonder.
    In just 5 years everything changed dramatically in my part of the world.

    Great read from you, Dagmar.
    Thank you for sharing.

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Hello Dagmar

    A poem that struck the heart of me with its shocking and blunt truth. "Goodbye the good old days" - I love that.
    I agree with Michael about line two - just a tweak could make it flow a little better but the poem itself is wonderful and meaningful, and never has the sentiment been so relevant unfortunately.

    Take care and all the best
    Ben

  • 7 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Dagmar,

    The title is definitely one that makes you want to open up the poem. I mean, how could 'It makes you wonder statement urge the reader to do anything else. 10/10 for the title.

    First line - 5 syllables - a statement of instability, not knowing what is going to happen.

    Second line - 7 syllables - another statement that follows on nicely from the previous.
    I would be inclined to swap the last two words, so it looks like this:
    'the world has changed extremely'

    or maybe, the world is now too complex

    or, the world is running away

    or, the world is not what it was

    Just a few suggestions for a tweak that will (in my mind) help the flow.

    The last line is super - 5 syllables and a final statement that supplies the necessary 'turn' a point that the reader understands the poems intent.

    This form would fit well to the 'syntuit' form, like the Haiku/ Senyru form, but less restrictive on topic and style.

    Dagmar, to change or not to change, it matters not, as this piece does make one wonder and then understand that the world indeed it moving forward and leaving the (arguable) good old days behind. Change is daunting, but it is true that the generations to come will think fondly of their 'good old days too'.

    It makes you wonder doesn't it?

    Take care,

    Michael

    • 7 years ago

      by Dagmar Wilson

      Thank you Michael for your comment and suggestions. I do appreciate. Take care

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Dagmar. Love this simple yet so fitting and true. Where have the good old days gone?

    Em

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