Smoke

by Cooper   Mar 26, 2017


Inhale the smoke,
sweet and white,
these dreams faded and pale
in the morning sun,
clean and gentle breath
tastes of oak,
rough delight,
whispered in detail
those soft lips undone.

Exhale the smoke,
black and acrid,
my decomposed lungs
releasing pressure,
heavy with salt and
thick like yolk,
opened my mouth and slid
these bitter words off dry tongues,
held in cracked clay to measure.

    report violation
5


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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I agree about the visuals, such engaging imagery!

    My only suggestion or thought would be to possibly add or experiment with different punctuation instead of the commas. Like a dash, semicolon, etc.

    Again, totally my opinion. Keep writing, will read more soon.

  • 7 years ago

    by Brenda

    I liked this a lot. Your visuals are spot on. It told a lot more than one story here,-well done-

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    An excellent, visual write.
    Well done on this,

    Ben

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