Amen

I went on my knees
And prayed to you,
Just like every time
That i used to.

All I wanted to hear
You whisper in my ear
Was that everything would be alright.

I brought out my bible
And my rosary, too,
I sang you Psalms
And Our Fathers, too.

All I wanted to hear
You whisper in my ear
Was something to help me sleep at night.

But this night was not
Like those before,
When my love for you
Withstood every blow
Of the world as I joyfully
And cheerfully cried out "amen".

That night was the night
I had questions, my Lord,
Those that I set aside
When I would enter your door.

And blissfully embrace myself
In your grace.

But the doubts that I had
Started to grow,
Like an uncontained liquid,
They started to flow.

And cleared all the clouds
In my mind, pace by pace.

I knew that this night
Would change it all,
Should I listen to my mind
And take the fall?

Or sit here with you, my Dear
And happily chant "amen"?

How could it be?
No, you must be true!
I heard you speak
And i spoke to you.

We talked about everything
That was going on,
But... then again.

Your voice was mine,
My voice was yours,
Your words were mine,
Well, but of course!

You never were there,
Everything was all in my head.

And try as I could,
With a faith that once stood
O'er foundations of gold,
They broke like wood,
And shattered to dust as I muttered
A somber amen.

Maybe you are out somewhere,
Hiding in a nebula way out there,
Secluded from the creation
That slowly started to evolve.

But I won't hold my breath
To see that day,
Nor will I act as if
It really is that way.

If you're out there,
Know that that was my last "amen".