Appication

Dear Sir, (or is it Madam?),

You don't know me from Charlie Adam,
so please forgive this imposition
and consider me for this position.

I'd confidently say, I'm sure
I'm everything you're looking for ...

The archetypal lazy slob
who can't hold down a proper job.
In honesty, I'm prone to lie,
and of hard work, I'm too shy shy,
and when the going's getting tricky,
rely on me to throw a sicky.

Head's up my arse, or in the sand,
proud citizen of Lala Land.
I'll make you suffer for my art.
My head is governed by my heart.
I bum around, I waste my time.
I talk bull-shit ... and all in rhyme.

You would be crying, if it wasn't funny,
but I'm just applying 'cause I need the money.
So, I've all it takes (if you did but know it)
for the vacancy of ..... People's Poet.