CHANGES

by .k.u.s.h.q.u.e.e.n.c.j.   Oct 2, 2018


People change
They switch lanes,
They give up
Due to, too much pressure
To much pain
Cutting off ties.
Hiding emotions
Like I'm only allowed
To be around
When y'all need
Me for the moment.
But where are y'all
When I need someone.
No one answers my calls .
When I'm feeling blue,
Or sometimes even lost.
I didn't mind being there
No matter the cost.
I've been nothing but loyal,
Proving my devotion.
I've helped so many people,
Who have cut me wide open.
And left me to bleed out.
Yet nobody noticed.

I left my door clear,
To whoever was in need.
Who had no place to go,
No shoes on their feet.
I understand life gets busy,
Money is tight.
Kids are growing up,
And we all have our own demons
That we have to fight.
But I've even gone broke,
Giving folks my last dime.
But that's just what I get..
For thinking maybe,
Just maybe..
It'd be different this time.

When I feel it's time to change,
After I've finally had enough.
I start treating people,
How they treated me.
They needed my help,
But I gave up too.
A taste of y'alls own medicine,
What y'all put me through.

I just want to go back in time,
Maybe I wouldn't of snorted
So many lines.
Or been in places
I shouldn't of went.
I would probably have friends,
Who wouldn't mind if I vent .
My feelings and frustrations,
Someone to talk to,
Even for just one minute.

But I have those no more,
Everyone's so busy
That im usually ignored.
Now I am a firm believer
With everything happens,
It happens for a reason.
Since y'all think im invisible,
Drugs are my new friend.
The pills really help,
When I'm at my end.
When im feeling anxious.
With no one to talk to,
No familiar faces.
Life keeps pushing on,
As I've become complacent.

Going through life,
That's blurry and faded.
My hearts had enough,
So cold and mistreated.
All the hours I can't sleep,
Smoke so much
I can barely breathe.
The older I get
The more that I see,
All that I've experienced
The good and the agony .
Worrying about people,
Who never worry about me.
I keep saying I'm done,
Falling back into the same things.

I hear that's just life,
But when does it end?
I'm not who I once was,
I'm still stuck in the deep end.
I talk to my shadows,
Or the voices in my head.
Because so it seems that
no one will truly care,
Until I'm finally dead.

3


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Latest Comments

  • 9 months ago

    by Milly Hayward

    What a sad piece. The flow of it took me through a dark journey of disillusionment and the feelings that nobody cares to the final despairing view that nobody will care until the writer is dead.
    It is the truth that there are plenty of people who are takers. They will take and take but are never there when you need them but there are also the givers who wholeheartedly give of themselves almost to the point where they have nothing left. Thankfully most people are somewhere inbetween. An interesting write. Milly x

    • 7 months ago

      by .k.u.s.h.q.u.e.e.n.c.j.

      Thank you for taking time to leave such a detailed comment. Much love & appreciation ?

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