Somehow I hear my alarm
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
Signalling its time to wake up
but if I've been asleep all night
why is it that I just want to sleep?
Two seconds later,
in walk in the thoughts that
so frequently blanket my dark mind.
These are the thoughts that leave me
preoccupied, busy, withdrawn,
I hit snooze, again and again.
Debating about whether or not to get up,
whether or not to care anymore.
Todays a day that its just easier to not care,
give up and let the day be slept away.
So I give in.
I call in, and sleep.
For only in sleep am I not battling
those deep, dark thoughts
that blanket my mind like a shroud.
Its now 5 o'clock in the evening
and I haven't even left bed to drink something.
My body screams you need to get up,
but my mind is screaming louder saying
It's okay, just lay here and maybe it'll all be over soon.
So I lay there,
drifting into and out of consciousness
with the help of some pills.
My mind is painstakingly paralyzed
and I just lay there, letting the voices win.