Long Time Ago ....( my attempt at an octave )

by (Olwin ) Lee Mcdonald   Jun 4, 2019


Long time ago I had a secret love,
At night we d fly o'er heaven up above.
To touch the stars and bathe in moonlights glow,
All sorrows' there forgot on earth below.
Long time ago I had a secret love,
One that forbidden was which grieved me so....
But no one knew at night I'd creep to meet ,
You in my dreams and drift in love to sleep.

* its been a long while since I've wrote a romantic/love poem lol. So thought I'd give it a bash. Now that I'm in the mode for writing lolol.

Not quite sure if I've accomplished an " octave" though as haven't before. This is a NEW attempt for me!! :D

* Honest comments,/ critique welcome :)

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  • 4 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    I missed this and I'm soooooo sorry.
    Writing in meter can be hard, but iambic pentameter is tougher. I struggle, but find writing with these musical beats pleasing. I also find they help me write more creatively as I need to find other ways to Express my thoughts.
    Your octave is a good one. Secret love of a person can be anyone and I like to think this is a celebrity. Don't reveal, it won't be a secret! Lol
    Many of the lines flow really well and I'm sure when you read it out loud, you'll know where it's not quite right. Practice makes for improved octaves/sonnets. X

    • 4 years ago

      by (Olwin ) Lee Mcdonald

      Aww, thank you so much Mr. Darcy :) You're comment means a lot. ( and no need to be sorry! Lol)
      Yes, I like to try these forms too as find it a challenge for me also to give me a wee bit of incentive to write :) And they ARE like musical beats I find too! Which is probably why I like the iambic pentameter :)
      Glad to know I've accomplished a good job with this one...means a lot coming from yourself !

      I shall go reread .. And keep practising !
      Thank you Michael! :D

      ( and will not give away any "secrets" to the secret love! ) HA!

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