Love this, STAR. A beautiful snapshot; sentimental without being overly sweet. I’m not sure if this was intentional but the juxtaposition of ‘red’ and ‘read’ was lovely. Is it past read? Is it present read? We don’t need to know.
You leave a lot to the reader here. A perfect senryu. :)
The mystery of this poem is what is so great about it itself and the reason I nominated it. Combining everything I see in front of me (The title, the poem and the category you have placed it in) my mind went straight away to this poem being a metaphor. It tells me that because the flower is red, it could be a metaphor for a heart, (your heart perhaps) and the book is the person you gave your heart to but over time the flower wilted and you forgot about the person until recently. I also like red and read because those are the two keywords within the poem itself.
There is one thing I would like to point out. I think the poem would read better without the comma, because it would make the poem more free. I think by using the comma you break up the poem into two sentences and while it fits ( I think) it is not needed. Just a personal opinion of course. But the poem itself is great because you tell a great story within three lines and not a lot of people can do so. well done
Superb... A powerful punch in a few words says it all. The beauty of the flower undiminished by the insignificance of the person who gave it. The closure and final filing away of a chapter which will be rarely if ever revisited. This is an excellent example of what well written Senryu's do best - packing a punch whilst still leaving it open for the reader to put their own interpretation on it. Milly xx
Very powerful Senryu. Touching and worded effectively..I enjoy such structuring and surprise elements in poems. special Senryu. As for the comma, I definitely disagree with Jamie, it won't work without it, in my opinion.
I've been re-reading this piece a lot, finding the right words to comment but still haven't been able to string together the right ones. I think what I most enjoy about this senryu is the questions that arise after reading it. Like why did the character preserve a memento of what seems to be an ending (of a relationship ?), why was the book barely read, did it remind the speaker too much of someone? did the speaker just did not care for the book? what does the red flower represent?
a lot of quesetions, none of them answered but it gives a great glimpse into the speaker's relationship with that person. well-written :)
I think you do not seem quite ready to forget this person and so, you press the last flower left from this relationship. I wonder if, in 20 years time, if it falls from your book will you remember who it was from?