I Am Valuable

In the past four days
I learned that
my life is worth living.
It took the extreme
for me to understand,
but luckily I'm still here
to grasp my value.
I imagined
my four year old sister
standing at my bedside
wondering why
I wouldn't wake up,
and I told myself
I will never get this bad
again.
I am not going to have
my siblings
lose their big sister;
not now,
not ever.
I am in pain
every single day,
but I hold on for my dad
I hold on for my siblings
I hold on for myself
because I deserve
to be happy.
All I want
is to find happiness
in this life.
I will fight for this
even if it kills me.
I want to wake up
because I look forward
to the day
that comes for me.
I want to find joy
in the little things.
I want to have
a genuine smile
instead of the mask
that I currently wear.
This is my journey.
I may have had a hiccup,
but that won't stop me
from succeeding.