I was really burning for your caressing hands
until I learned you were just a semblance I was missing
nobody truly existed
behind those hands.
or they existed like fungus
with no roots
neither in your finger
nor in my bones.
We were whispering inside our glass jar like gold fishes
of our thoughts
coming out of their mouth.
We were living nowhere except
on the apparent world of skins
with no transparency of bones.
there was no flesh behind the skin.
and no soul behind the masks
and no one
behind the doors of your lips.
The first stanza of the poem, uncovers the scat of a love lost. Almost seems like it didnt last for too long, because of the fungus image.
The second shows how there was love between the two, but it didnt go deep. Desperation of the poet can be felt too.
The last stanza supports that the love didnt go deep, or perhaps only to one of them. That there were so many differences that the two couldnt contain.
Philosophy meet a lost love, to create a beautiful very original piece.
I like the depth of this write and your feelings are felt in every line. To love someone who was once there or who you wish was there but does not exist...touching write beautifully penned. Congrats on the win!!
Congratulation on your win DD!
It brought much joy to me when I saw your poem on the front page...
I really love the way you write latel and this poem is simply brilliant...
Im not a big commentator, sorry... :)
This poem truly makes me ache inside. I've got the feeling of loving someone that is a figment of one's imagination, someone who is merely a memory without the original personality you knew them for, or perhaps someone you are longing for but doesn't exist yet.
The imagery was very powerful with contrasts. From strong , caressing hands full of desire to brittle, rootless fungus. From the harsh, present reality of goldfishes in a glass jar to the dreamy, silent reality of air bubbles in that same jar. There's so many different textures in your imagery yet it all works together.
I couldn't comment through my phone when I nominated this piece of art. What a beautiful poem. The wording and the flow, and the imagery, it all made me smile and imagine every single bit of it. It was a magical experience reading all this for the 1s time. Sometimes you go simple, other times you make a spell with your words.
I really love this poem and have read it tens of times so far.