Twilight skies (Rondeau)

by Michael   Nov 25, 2020


Beneath the stars, you lay with me
and whisper swirls, of empathy.
You kiss the scars upon my sleeve
to aid the wound, of what I grieve.
The moon looks on, with sympathy.

She was the heart, within my tree
the warmest leaf you’d ever see.
Too soon it was for her to leave
. . . .beneath the stars..

I kept my word and set you free,
and now you swim within the sea.
So now beneath, a twilight eve
in natures arms, I shall conceive,
our moments shared, in history
. . . .beneath the stars..

4


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Latest Comments

  • 1 month ago

    by Emi

    Hello Micheal, the title is beautiful and reminds me of the happier days when I'd go stargazing be it alone or with a special someone.
    The imagery you display in this opening stanza is picturesque and so serene it made me smile, for I imagined a broken person's past hurts being healed by the person of their dreams and I thought you know one day that's going to be me because no matter what anyone says I deserve that too, we all do.
    Awww, this made me gasp for breath and I literally crossed my fingers in the hope that this lady was only leaving, like cinderella had too, before the spell was broken and not because she was going to break the guys heart. :( love the first line here.. It just goes to show how much this person means, beautiful!
    Oh no. My worst fear of the lady actually leaving, having broke the fellas heart but what a beautiful picture you set. Though the first two lines here it seems to me as though it isn't about two lovers but of a daughter - father bond possibly because you let her go to swim in the ocean - set her free in the big, bad work, to stand on her own two feet, maybe?
    Loved this, it's definitely on point with fantastic rhyming and wonderful imagery. I really need to try this style again, I've never quite mastered the art of this form.
    Take care and I hope you're staying well.
    Em x

    • 1 month ago

      by Michael

      Thank you Em for such an in-depth perspective on my poem :)
      So lovely that the reader makes of the poem part of themselves. The curiosity is always the part I enjoy :)x

  • 1 month ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    The title and form drew me in straight away. The imagery of that sky, the symbolism of time on life's journey; or should I say, the journeys of two. . .
    The Rondeau form works well with somber poems like this. It doesn't get more somber than a regretful farewell to a lover. The details are personal so I won't delve into your effective metaphors. Suffice to say, I hope you found the process cathartic.

    All the best.

    • 1 month ago

      by Michael

      Thank you Mr D and it was indeed:)

  • 1 month ago

    by Everlasting

    Aww, you have such a way with writing Rondeau. This type of poetry formed always is a joy to read from you. Thank you for sharing. I love the smoothness and the love felt in this piece.

    • 1 month ago

      by Michael

      Thank you Everlasting:)

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