The silence is deafening,
Absence continues to amplify,
One-sided conversations are disheartening
And the reality is getting harder to deny.
I realized something new this go around:
I am the one to say "I miss you" -
To say "I love you", "I want you", "I need you" - a pain profound
Amongst the emptiness - something one cannot simply undo.
You claim to be a parasite,
That you cannot live without me,
But that proves to be such an ugly lie
As the disappearances continue fluidly.
Communication is all I have asked for,
I have begged to not be left in the dark,
I have said we can make it through together,
But what is "together" when we are seemingly worlds apart?
You vanish when I need you most,
And yet I remain here, in my place, willing to help you
Breaking, bleeding, hurting fathomlessly on my own -
But I would drop it all for you, a weakness to subdue.
I do not deserve the pain,
I do not deserve the uncertainty,
I do not deserve to be used over and over again,
I do not deserve subtle discourtesy.
I am more than a tool,
I am more than a convenience,
I am more than a fool,
I am more than the give and take between us.
Friend or not, this will not continue
Love or not, I found some of my self respect;
I cannot say goodbye to you,
But I fear that from you, myself I must protect.
My rose-colored glasses have broken,
And I am left with our tragic corrosion.
