Anti Morning Anthem

Alarm goes off, I fake my death
Maybe Outlook won't request my breath
One eye opens, that's a mistake
Now Teams knows that I'm awake

Hit snooze like a power user pro
Fifty clicks in a row
Five more minutes, that's my creed
Sleep is not a want, it's a need

I just want to sleep
Buzz off
I don't want another call
I got tickets stacked to the sky
And three more servers left to die

I just want to sleep
Buzz off
I don't want another ping
Take my laptop, take my chair
I'm running on caffeine and prayer

VPN is down at half past eight
Everyone says it's urgent, mate
Printer's broken, mailbox full
Someone clicked a phishing tool

Boss walks in with coffee cheer
"Morning team!" I disappear
Body present, spirit gone
Waiting for the weekend spawn

Patch Tuesday stole my youth away
Exchange errors ruin every day
If heaven calls before I'm old
Please let paradise have snooze control

I just want to sleep
Buzz off
No more meetings before ten
If productivity needs me now
Please submit a ticket... somehow