That night I realized

The rain is coming down hard
Making a collage with the tears running down my face.
As my back presses against the cold wet cement,
The razor in my hand is dripping blood.
My thoughts swirl and crash into one another,
Creating mass confusion.
Giving me this un-proportional, image of the future.
It is dark, hazy, and empty.
I am alone
With a hate filled heart,
For hate becomes the remedy for all my problems, fears, and emotions.
Staring down at the scars penetrating the depths of my wrists.
I can count as many as the twinkling stars above me.
The haziness clears,
And reality reassures me of my unborn future.
As the blood from my wrists rolls down ans conglomerates into a watered down puddle,
I stabilize my body and clear my mind.
I realize what my own guilty pleasure will one day lead to.
I put away my razor and wipe my tears.
To come to the conclusion that what is done I can not undo,
But what is yet to happen can be reversed.

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