The death of the sponge

I used to love helping friends
i was like the emotional sponge
soak up their pain
alleviate some
but it came back to me
full force everytime
i couldn't control it
i didn't bother trying
but coping methods followed
cutting and burning
drugs and alcohol
but pain inside kept burning
i yearned only for my death
a sweet release
some tenderness
someone who cared
or something that mattered
as it all erupted
into a vicious pattern
spattered with pain
and shot up on drugs
i take one last shot
and land on the rug...