Secret life

Nobody knows the hurt I feel
Built up inside me, trying to break its seal
No on understanding what I am
Closing in my pain, like a hiding clam
I cant kill myself, I’ll leave everyone feeling as I
Running away would be the same, but the stress making everyone want to die

This pain and love drive me to madness
A darkness I cannot escape, my personal mess
Sewn together but still broken inside
A heart never taking a little joy ride
Tears begin to fill my eyes
Wanting to let out all my deep mournful cries

Feeling so materialized and used
Getting cut secretly, as well as bruised
Hoping my life project will be as perfect as what around me I see
But instead abandoned and forgotten is me
Keeping me to myself, buried in pain
Constant storms within me, with secrets dripping like rain

And with all I can do is cry
Smile live my life as a lie
Wanting to be better and loved
Instead I want to die, but cant, this pain being shoved
Hiding myself in darkness and hate
Knowing the end of my life is the true fate

Save me! I cry over and over once more
Turning again to tears, from my eyes they pour
Facing all my broken dreams
Letting loose all my painful screams
I close my eyes, and try to rest my mind
Knowing what happens I cannot rewind

Looking in the mirror, I see what I want not to see
My image a poor pathetic reflection of me
My wounded soul stitched and sewn
This pain yet love decreased not, but grown
Nothing I can do but cry
And nothing I dream more, but cant do, is to die