Always the bridesmaid never the bride,
i think about this as we pose for pictures outside.
I'm in my third wedding this year, 14th overall
I've toured countless churches and reception halls
I have 14 dresses that I'll never wear again,
can you believe 3 of them are the same shade of red?
14 pairs of dyed uncomfortable shoes
14 limo rides with loads of booze
I've given more toasts than most politicians,
Schmoozing about perfect love and assorted wedding traditions
I've convinced shy guests to participate in the traditional dances
I've warded off the bride's drunken uncle's advances
I've flirted with the groomsmen and danced the night away
I've pretended to want to catch the bouquet
I know what you're thinking,why don't I just decline?
what? and give up a fun party with free beer and wine?
What it really boils down to, is the meaning of a friend,
besides, revenge will soon be mine, down to the bitter end...