Not My Dance

There are people around and they’re having fun
But I am not happy and it seems I’m the only one
Why can’t I just smile and pretend that I am okay
I want to be a normal person, to be happy for a day

I’m alone at the party and there’s nothing for me
And if there is then it is nothing my eyes can see
My friends are all laughing now, they must be mad
Or maybe I am just being too unsociable and sad

Why can’t I get to them, I feel so lost and very far
They are all so crazy; I don’t know who they are
How did I ever get here? I look like a huge fool
Sitting alone in a corner, rocking on a tiny stool

No one now can save me; I feel fully out of range
I can’t erase memories that people tend to change
Quickly now I must escape, the music hurts my ears
Everyone corners me now as I drop down in tears

I do not want to tell them how much I hate myself
I don’t want to hurt them but I wish they’d go to hell
Only now they see my pain when it was always there
I knew that this would happen, nobody really cares

They tell me “Sarah you look ill, hun what is wrong”
“Nothing guys I am fine” all I can do is play along
Why can’t I just tell them how I really want to die?
Why must I deceive everyone and live in my own lie

Never was I useful to anyone around here in any way
Why should I continue living just to die another day?
Nothing is making sense in this life, I’m so confused
I feel like I am just slipping away so broken and used

Quickly I must leave this place, no body will know
They live life as a party, and no one will see me go
For them its one big dance, but I can’t stand the song
I try to live life like them, but everything goes wrong