My Dying Tears

You raise your fist in anger
as you look into my eyes
I'm screaming for you to stop
but your ignoring my desperate cries

huddled in the corner
cheeks soaked from all my tears
you hit my feeble body again and again
your the source of all my fears

you grab my fragile little arm
and cast me across the room
what have I ever done to you
to deserve this insufferable doom?

the answer to that question
you don't even know
because your so drunk and confused
your bottled up aggressions you now show

you grab me by the hair
and push me out into the cold
you expect me to survive the night
but I'm only eight years old

I lay there in the yard
as my whole body endures your pain
I'm crying harder then ever now
as it slowly starts to rain

I finally get up
with no one's hand to hold
I wipe the last tears from my eyes
and start to stumble down the road

you made me grow up way too fast
because you were never really there
I want my daddy back
that one that said he'd always care

you see after mommy died
you unleashed my biggest fear
you started drinking heavily
and you never saw too clear

I'm sorry dad I really wish
that I didn't make mom leave that day
but I wanted to go to the park
I simply wanted to play

but soon later we were on our way back home
a storm was headed quickly our way
mom drove in silence
nothing to say

through the rain mom never saw that other car
and that other car never saw her
a head on collision
that’s what we did endure

mom never made it through that night
I was the only one that did
you blamed mom's death on me
even though I'm just a little kid

I lifted up my head
and through the rain I could see
the bench we always sat on
when it was just you and me

I made my way over to it
and lay my head on the soaked wood
I closed my eyes, felt the rain on my face
and tried to sleep the best I could

I woke up the next morning
in a stranger's bed
they found me late the night before
glad I wasn't dead

they brought me back home to you
thinking I had run away
thinking all the scrapes and bruises
were from the storm the previous day

then it all started again
the hitting and the blame
you threw your daughter
back into a world of pain

but it today it was different
someone heard my cries
and they looked through the open window
with their shocked eyes

I will never know
who tried to stop my dad that day
but whoever they were they came to late
he had already beaten my life away

now as I'm looking down on you
seeing the only man I knew as a father
I don't feel bad that your in that jail cell
after all you killed your only daughter