What have i become
by shawn hoskins Sep 20, 2005
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What have i become,my life torn beyond repair,full of pain and despair,i reach for you but your not there,i've lost something inside,it's getting harder to hide,this sickness i feel inside,tired of trying, my angles flying, leaving me alone,demons trying,got to get away somehow,god i need you more than ever now,the devils knocking,me he's stalking ,turn my back i just keep walking. |
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Latest Comments
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18 years ago
by Goth
Id proof read this again, this really has some potental...even at that ill give you a 4/5.Dif. work on this one, id like to see a revised one!
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18 years ago
by Jamie
My life torn beyond repair,full of pain and despair
those lines were so cool, very nice i liked the rhyme there it seemed to just flow so well together
once again the only thing i can complain about is your lack of a more intelligent vocabulary you are still rhyming simple words which is okay but there arn't ANY bigger words...which i think you should give a try
good job
4/5
