Death bed

by Dave   Sep 30, 2005


As i sit here staring at the sky
i fly free flying high
now for me running clouds running free
i feel the shadow in my head its only me
the warmth melts my mind a cage with golden bars
the souls of millions there lives are scares
what will end this madness in my mind
i have nowhere to go with everything to find
a cold feeling swept Thur me the sky is cold and gray
nothings left at the end of the day
problems I've left behind all in my head
all this i can see from my death bed

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by ALEX

    Spooky. I love your word choice. It sounds like a man looking back at his life, and looking ahead to death. Thinking about endings, which are obviously sad. I really like it. =] 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Natalie

    The flow in this was okay, You could go through and comb a few uneeded words out to help it flow better. The rhyming was good, sometimes doing the AABB scheme is hard without making the rhymes sound forced. But, you did pretty good. 5/5

    `Taleee.

  • 18 years ago

    by ASPHYXIATED

    This was short yet felt long? well done, the flow was great and the idea was diffrent!
    I enjoyed reading it, I like your style and your choice of words...well done.

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