My Life In God's Hands

Wow...Your faith is inspirational. You are still always gonna be in my prayers. I go to the doctor on Thursday. I will find out how my cancer is doing. I really would rather not know right now. The important thing is I know it is there. Since I started writing and getting such good comments from you it has helped me tremendously. I am having my good days and my not so good days. I have found that taking the negativity out of my life really helps. I love your poems. Keep writing.
~neens~

I questioned if this was really about you or not so I read the comments. I see you replied to Mark that it indeed was about you. My heart and prayers go out to you. It's amazing to me how optimistic you seem about your ordeal. I have such a happy go lucky attitude and I always say through all of my rough times someone has it worse than me so I will continue to smile. I've questioned myself about things this big...would I still hold that same attitude and would I still look at life with such a clear mind as I do now. Your response really makes me hope that I would keep those same values as I would never want anything to bring me down...like many people let happen. God bless you - you have a beautiful heart and I must thank you for giving me the chance to read your lovely poetry!! :) take care of yourself!

Your unfaltering faith astounds me! It's just amazing! I wish I was able to put my faith in anything and see it completely through! You truly are an inspiration to us all~Holly

Mark ..
Thank you for taking the time to read my poem and understand my feelings ..
I had an appointment with my specialist two weeks ago and I knew he was going to be angry with me for I had recently gone off my medication ..
When I told him ...his reply was a question ..Why ? I told him I didn't feel like myself ..I was always angry and annoyed and ranting and raving at my family ..And that is not the person I am nor the person I want to be ..
He know wants to start me on Copaxone ... I have been contemplating over this for two weeks and still I can not yet find my answer ..
I am leaving my total faith in God's hands to guide me in the right direction . I have never blamed God for this disease for I believe it is my cross to carry for a reason ... And someday I will know this reason .. He has given me this life and he will be the only to take it away ...
You have helped me more than you will ever realize ....May God Bless you for you are truly a beautiful soul ..

My ex-wife has MS. I had Hepatitis C, and for a moment, I actually put my faith in doctors. That is the wrong place for faith. Then one day as I was thinking about a life of Interferon and Ribavarin therapy, I realized I was not meant to die this way. Deep down, I have always known my path was one of service to God. I only had to commit my life and my soul to Him. I fully believed I would not be able to serve Him the way I knew I would have to while shackled to this disease, so I convinced myself that I would be healed of the virus. I made an appointment with a doctor other than my own, and had another blood test done. When she read the results of that test to me, she stumbled over herself. The results were astounding. I was virus free, however, the levels of antigens were so high that she believed I was still infected at first. After reading it a second and third time, she confirmed her mistake. Mind you, I had been infected for fourteen years with this virus. Six months later, I repeated the test. This time there was no trace of the virus in my blood at all.

My wife was diagnosed with MS in 1993. She surfed this morning. She surfs at least 3 to 4 times a week. We divorced 5 years ago because our differences were causing far too much stress on her. We live less than a mile apart. If she were to have a flair-up that changed her very active quality of life and did to her what I’ve seen MS do to so many others, I would take care of her. That is my duty under the vow I made to her and to God. That would also prevent me from giving everything I need to give in my service to the Lord. So she surfs and she jogs and she leads a completely normal, drug free life. And she will continue to do so. Because I believe it. We have a choice, live this life for ourselves or live it in the service of God. Living for ourselves sees us reaching the end of our lives knowing we gave little to nothing back to the one who gave us this chance. My life is better given in service to God, than laying in some hospital bed, waiting for a liver that will never arrive. I can’t promise that you will have the same results as I did. That will depend entirely on you. But I can tell you that miracles DO happen. But unlike the fluffy stories that Christians like to tell, they also have a price. The price is a heavy one. You must give your life over, totally, to God. Exactly as Paul gave his. Paul lived alone, and eventually died alone. His entire life was dedicated to the commitment to his service. People shared his path, but no one took him off of that path. And let’s not forget how his ministry began. He had been stricken with blindness on the road to Damascus, but when he chose to give his life fully to God, his sight was returned. This road lies before anyone with the courage to walk it. It is a choice not to be made lightly, and the burden may be great, but the rewards will last forever. My prayers are with you. God bless.

Mark