Can You Feel

by Drew Gold   Oct 30, 2005


Can you feel the detachment
as it sweeps you off your feet
and out of your mind

realities bindings
disconnect
and flake off
snowing down, with its
sub-zero intensity.

is it this weather
that separates us?
nevermind the many miles
when words can expand
and transcend distance;
... words
or lackthereof.

neither these words
nor proximity -
close as we would get -
could ever allude
to the desirous bindings
that encircle our every moment
with perpetual bliss
and wind in our
dramatic movements
such an idyllic riddle
that's neverending,
always tried.

try try try,
to no avail..
the puzzle pieces fall
as the riddle's solved
the minds are whole
while the body stands confused,..

tumbling down
goes the notion of completion.

can you feel the detachment
as the puzzle dissolves into
the redundant riddle of reality
or what we perceive it to be?

dunn0 bout it.. just wrote it.. ill prolly change it; i've already done so a lot.. thans for readin..
pZ

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by shadowlight

    I liked this it's well written and has a good structure. there was also something abotu itt (not sure what) which made it different and unique.

  • 18 years ago

    by Ariana

    I'm not entirely sure what it's about, but I did like the direct approach this piece had. I also liked how your stanzas were long but did not seem to drag on at all. I think you should end with a question mark in the first stanza.

  • I liked this...
    It's cleverly written, you've used a good choice of words, and it read really well. It's a unique poem with some intersting ideas.
    5/5 - Definately !!!

    xxx cici xxx

  • 18 years ago

    by Anthony

    I loved this poem! It was unusual and off beat, and that is rare to find! My favorite lines were
    "try try try,
    to no avail..
    the puzzle pieces fall
    as the riddle's solved
    and the minds are whole
    while the bodies confuse,.."

    Awesome job! 5/5

    ~Anthony