My little secret

I don't like to be alone, it's just how I am
The way my life is going it feels like one big scam
I'm picked at by everyone, even by my friends
The pain, the hurt, the ridicule, it never ends

Most of the time I hide it, conceal it with a smile
Sometimes they cant tell so it works, for a while
The feeling keeps growing, then I lose control
I can't run from these feelings, they're trapped in my soul

This feeling gets stronger, it beats on my sanity
It keeps getting worse, killing my humanity
I try to hide, I try to run but the feeling is still there
It keeps feeding from my life and now I don't seem to care

I go about my life like most others do
Then I find its the little problems I cant get through
I try to win the battles try to keep a happy face
But as the numbers grow I come to hate this place

I wish that I could get away, run away or hide
I hope I have the luck to be saved like those others who have died
Now they have no pain, they have no fear, they have nothing to lose
But the problems that occur down here are for others to choose

Whether or not I lose my life could be another's choice to make
Although its true I keep on living for my own sake
I have to much to lose to many things of mine
Maybe if I keep this smile things will be fine

It just seems to me like others don't really care
When something goes wrong they make it mine to bear
I can't get rid of this feeling its killing from inside
I'm to scared to ask for help but at least I'll die with pride