The Dive 2

My life is full of pain

though most would say its not

people say I'm lucky

to have everything I've got

Although I may have more than some

my life is full of pain

all the ways I've hurt myself

am I the one to blame?

I long for a way to end it

the never ending feeling

yet with all the options that I have

my mind is kept reeling

I want it to end quickly

there's not a doubt about that

I also know I want no pain

I thought while i sat

The light seemed to get darker

as I sat inside my room

yet i still had most of the day

to ponder my own doom

The quick ways with no pain

were limited to one

a gunshot to the temple

yet I was lacking the gun.

That idea was scrapped

it just couldn't be done

so I went on to other ideas

since willpower I had none

Perhaps an over dose would do it?

now that I could do

but as I checked my resources,

lethal drugs I had too few

A push in the right direction

yes a friend is what I need

yet there are few friends true enough

that would help with such a deed

Now this was getting boring

and the day far too long

all this thinking of my death

could I really be so wrong?

So many ways refuse to work

could old age be the one?

I can't live all those days alone

I'd rather take the gun

No, another way there has to be

I haven't thought enough

perhaps one of those ways would work

though they may seem rather rough.

I'll have to forget about no pain

If it's early I want to go

but there has to be an easy way

and I really have to know

Perhaps I'll drown myself

though I'm sure thats really hard

so it comes back to willpower

That thought I'll have to discard

Until now this was a bad idea

but it's my only hope

the only chance I'll ever have

to fall unheld by rope

So as I walked up to this ledge

I told you the story of my day

of how I wanted to die

and this is the only way

The wind is chilly, not quite cold

altogether a nice feeling

as I stood I cleared my head

my thoughts I could feel peeling

I stood there and watched the faces

of those who had arrived

and smiled at their reactions

as I leaned and took the dive.