The Dive

My life was once beautiful

unstained by crimson red

but now my will is lost

I'm stuck lying in this bed

One day it got too hard

being alone every night

so I started finding ways to die

so i could lose the fight

The drugs didn't work

everything just got worse

I thought it would be forever

till I lay inside a hearse

The knife stung a little

as it went into my side

and I awoke the next morning

to find out i hadn't died

The rope would work for sure I thought

as I stood inside the shed

I began to feel relief

as it slid over my head

As I stepped off the block

the rope came undone

i then started to fear

that life had finally won

I soon found a friend

she was unhappy too

she told me her plan

and what i should do

I wasn't sure about it

it almost made me cry

but as i thought it over

i was sure I wanted to die

My life now has no meaning

no one for whom I care

I have no one to save me

from this burden I now bear

The days are far too long now

night hardly ever comes

I lie alone and listen

to deaths slowly beating drum

I wished the blood would stop

quit feeding me with life

but my will has been to ruling

never letting me end the strife

So as I walked alone

hoping to see the tracks

I thought about what was wrong

and what my life lacks

I waited nearly an hour

hoping to see the tunnel light

the one who brought my savior

to help me end the fight

After all of the razors and pills

my life had no more pain

I had no more to fear

as i waited for the train

Obviously I'm still alive

because my story I'm now telling

I awoke beside the tracks

amidst screaming and yelling

I only heard pieces but

the diagnosis was clear

I went back to all the pain

and having everything to fear

I handled it well at first

not being able to move around

but when I have the seizures

I always hit the ground

Sometimes I lie for hours

pondering on my wish

I hate myself for knowing

all the factors that I missed

The train was far too slow

thats one reason I'm alive

And since I jumped I hit the edge

thats what saved me, The Dive.

Damn.